Spanish for Evaluating Relationships: Talking About Growing Closer or Drifting Apart
Learn Latin American Spanish phrases to assess how a relationship has changed: acercarse, distanciarse, llevarse mejor, and more.
By PookieFriends & plans · Yapr Learn
In this lesson you will learn to evaluate a relationship in Spanish, not just describe it. English uses phrases like "we've grown closer" or "we drifted apart." Spanish has its own natural ways to express this shift: acercarse (to grow closer), distanciarse (to drift apart), and llevarse mejor o peor (to get along better or worse). You will practice reflective language to say how a bond has changed over time, using broadly useful Latin American Spanish.
By the end, you can…
- say whether a relationship has grown closer or drifted apart.
- use acercarse and distanciarse in the present perfect to describe change.
- ask someone how things are going with another person.
Listen once. Try it slowly. Then say it without looking.
Checking available voices…
Nos hemos acercado mucho.
We've grown much closer.
nohs EH-mohs ah-sehr-KAH-doh MOO-choh
Use the present perfect (hemos + participle) to talk about change up to now. Common in Latin America for recent, ongoing relevance.
Nos hemos distanciado.
We've drifted apart.
nohs EH-mohs dees-tahn-SYAH-doh
Distanciarse is reflexive: the relationship itself moved apart. Softer than saying you stopped loving someone.
Últimamente nos llevamos mejor.
Lately we've been getting along better.
OOL-tee-mah-MEN-teh nohs yeh-VAH-mohs meh-HOR
Llevarse bien/mal describes ongoing chemistry. Add últimamente to show a recent change.
Siento que la relación se enfrió.
I feel the relationship cooled off.
SYEN-toh keh lah rreh-lah-SYOHN seh ehn-FRYOH
Enfriarse is a reflective way to say emotional distance grew. Common in casual conversation.
¿Cómo van las cosas entre ustedes?
How are things going between you two?
KOH-moh bahn lahs KOH-sahs EHN-treh oos-TEH-dehs
A neutral, polite way to ask about a relationship. Ustedes is standard plural 'you' in Latin America.
Pronunciation guides are approximate. Slow playback keeps the original pitch.
Make it make sense
Useful pattern
To evaluate a bond, use a reflexive verb plus a time marker: Nos hemos acercado desde que... (We've grown closer since...), Nos estamos distanciando poco a poco (We're drifting apart little by little). The reflexive nos shows the change happens between the two people. Compare: Nos llevamos bien (We get along) describes the current state, while Nos hemos llevado mejor este año (We've gotten along better this year) evaluates a change.
When to use it
Use these phrases when you want to assess, not just report. If a friend asks ¿Cómo va lo de ustedes?, you can answer Nos hemos acercado mucho or Últimamente nos hemos distanciado. Use distanciarse for gradual emotional distance; use separarse for a physical or formal separation. In Latin America, ustedes is the normal plural 'you'; in Spain, vosotros is common informally, but the verb forms here remain widely understood.
Listen to each line, then take one part and reply out loud.
¿Cómo van las cosas con tu hermano?
How are things going with your brother?KOH-moh bahn lahs KOH-sahs kohn too ehr-MAH-nohNos hemos acercado mucho desde que murió papá.
We've grown much closer since Dad died.nohs EH-mohs ah-sehr-KAH-doh MOO-choh DEHS-deh keh moo-RYOH pah-PAHQué bueno. ¿Y con tu prima?
That's good. And with your cousin?keh BWEH-noh ee kohn too PREE-mahCon ella nos hemos distanciado un poco, pero hablamos de vez en cuando.
With her we've drifted apart a bit, but we talk once in a while.kohn EH-yah nohs EH-mohs dees-tahn-SYAH-doh oon POH-koh PEH-roh ah-BLAH-mohs deh behs ehn KWAHN-dohA little context goes a long way
In many Latin American conversations, evaluating a relationship openly is common among close friends, but distanciarse can sound softer than decir 'ya no nos queremos.' If you want to be indirect, add un poco or últimamente. Remember that ustedes is the standard plural 'you' across Latin America; in Spain, vosotros appears in informal speech, but the phrases here are still understood.
One thing to watch for
Using acercarse to mean 'to get closer physically' only, and saying Nos acercamos para hablar de la relación.
Try this instead: Acercarse can mean physical approach, but for emotional bonds use it with a time frame or reflexive nuance: Nos hemos acercado mucho emocionalmente. For physical proximity, say Nos acercamos a la mesa. Context and the adverb emocionalmente clarify the emotional meaning.
Your turn
Try answering out loud before checking a possible answer.
1How would you say 'We've drifted apart lately' using distanciarse?
Show a sample answer
Últimamente nos hemos distanciado.
This uses the present perfect hemos + distanciado with a time marker. You could also say Nos hemos distanciado un poco, which softens the statement.
2What is the difference between Nos llevamos bien and Nos hemos llevado mejor?
Show a sample answer
Nos llevamos bien describes the current state; Nos hemos llevado mejor evaluates a change over time.
The first is a present-tense description of getting along. The second uses the present perfect to assess improvement. Both are correct in different contexts.
3How would you ask a friend politely how things are between two people?
Show a sample answer
¿Cómo van las cosas entre ustedes?
This is neutral and polite. In Spain you might hear ¿Cómo van las cosas entre vosotros? but ustedes is standard in Latin America.
Use reflexive verbs like acercarse and distanciarse with time markers to evaluate how a relationship has changed, not just describe it.
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