Korean for Mediating Others' Conflicts: 'Let's Hear Both Sides'
Learn neutral Korean phrases to help two other people in conflict, using 양쪽 이야기를 들어 봅시다 and related mediation expressions politely and without taking sides.
By PookieFriends & plans · Yapr Learn
When you are the third person in someone else's disagreement, your job is not to win the argument but to keep both sides talking. Korean has a useful set of neutral, polite expressions for this. In this lesson you will learn how to propose hearing both sides (양쪽 이야기를 들어 봅시다), ask each person to speak in turn, and avoid wording that sounds like you have already chosen a side. The focus is on 해요체 and 합쇼체, the polite styles you will normally use with coworkers, classmates, or acquaintances who are arguing in front of you.
By the end, you can…
- propose hearing both sides neutrally using 양쪽 이야기를 들어 봅시다.
- ask each person to explain their view in turn without sounding like I blame one side.
- use 제가 판단할 문제는 아닌 것 같아요 to avoid taking sides.
- summarize each person's position fairly using -다고 하셨죠.
Listen once. Try it slowly. Then say it without looking.
Checking available voices…
양쪽 이야기를 들어 봅시다.
Let's hear both sides.
yang-jjok i-ya-gi-reul deu-reo bop-si-da
Neutral proposal to a group; 합쇼체, suitable for coworkers or a formal setting.
두 분 각각 말씀해 주시겠어요?
Could each of you tell me your side?
du bun gak-gak mal-sseum-hae ju-si-get-eo-yo
Polite request for two people to speak in turn; 두 분 is a respectful way to say 'you two'.
먼저 A님부터 들어도 될까요?
May we hear from A first?
meon-jeo A-nim-bu-teo deu-reo-do doel-kka-yo
Asks permission to set an order; using 님 after a name keeps it respectful.
제가 편을 들려는 건 아니에요.
I'm not trying to take sides.
je-ga pyeon-eul deul-lyeo-neun geon a-ni-e-yo
Explicitly states neutrality; useful when someone suspects you of favoring the other person.
제가 판단할 문제는 아닌 것 같아요.
I don't think it's my place to judge.
je-ga pan-dan-hal mun-je-neun a-nin geot ga-ta-yo
Softens your role as a third party; -ㄴ 것 같아요 makes the statement less blunt.
Pronunciation guides are approximate. Slow playback keeps the original pitch.
Make it make sense
Useful pattern
To report each person's view fairly, use the quotative pattern -다고 하셨죠. For example, 민수가 먼저 연락을 못 했다고 하셨죠? means 'You said you couldn't contact first, right?' and 지수가 서운했다고 하셨죠? means 'You said you felt hurt, right?' The ending -죠 checks that your summary is correct without agreeing with it. Keep the subject clear so neither person feels you have merged their two positions into one.
When to use it
Use these phrases when two other people are arguing and you are not one of the parties. If you are personally involved, say 제가 끼어들 문제가 아니에요 rather than pretending to be neutral. With close friends, 해요체 is enough: 양쪽 얘기 좀 들어 보자. With a superior or in a meeting, use 합쇼체: 양쪽 말씀을 들어 보시죠. Avoid ordering people with 말해 봐, which can sound like scolding.
Listen to each line, then take one part and reply out loud.
두 분 다 화가 나신 것 같은데, 양쪽 이야기를 들어 봅시다.
You both seem upset, so let's hear both sides.du bun da hwa-ga na-sin geot ga-teun-de, yang-jjok i-ya-gi-reul deu-reo bop-si-da저는 그냥 제 입장을 설명하고 싶어요.
I just want to explain my position.jeo-neun geu-nyang je ip-jang-eul seol-myeong-ha-go si-peo-yo네, 그럼 먼저 B님부터 말씀해 주시겠어요?
Okay, then could we hear from B first?ne, geu-reom meon-jeo B-nim-bu-teo mal-sseum-hae ju-si-get-eo-yo제가 편을 들려는 건 아니고, 두 분 말씀을 다 듣고 싶어요.
I'm not trying to take sides; I want to hear both of you.je-ga pyeon-eul deul-lyeo-neun geon a-ni-go, du bun mal-sseum-eul da deut-go si-peo-yoA little context goes a long way
In Korean workplace and school settings, a third party often softens mediation with -ㄴ 것 같아요 and -죠 rather than stating judgments directly. Age and hierarchy matter: two 분 is respectful for adults, while 너희 둘 is only for close friends or people clearly younger than you. If a senior is involved, let them speak first unless they invite otherwise.
One thing to watch for
Saying 너는 이게 잘못됐어, which directly blames one person.
Try this instead: Stay neutral and invite both accounts: 두 분 이야기를 다 들어 볼게요. If you must note a problem, describe the situation, not the person: 이 부분은 서로 다르게 기억하고 계시네요.
Your turn
Try answering out loud before checking a possible answer.
1How would you politely propose hearing both sides in a meeting?
Show a sample answer
양쪽 이야기를 들어 봅시다.
This 합쇼체 form is neutral and appropriate for a group. With close friends, 양쪽 얘기 들어 보자 is also acceptable.
2Your friend thinks you are favoring the other person. What can you say?
Show a sample answer
제가 편을 들려는 건 아니에요.
This directly denies taking sides. 제가 판단할 문제는 아닌 것 같아요 also works when you want to step back from judging.
3How do you check that you understood one person's view without agreeing?
Show a sample answer
그렇게 서운했다고 하셨죠?
The quotative -다고 하셨죠 repeats their claim and asks for confirmation. It does not mean you agree with it.
As a third party, your Korean should signal neutrality first: 양쪽 이야기를 들어 봅시다, then 제가 편을 들려는 건 아니에요, and confirm each side with -다고 하셨죠.
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