Japanese for Elementary Learners: Sharing Your Relationship Status (Single or Partnered)
Learn to say whether you are single or have a partner in Japanese, ask someone else politely, and understand why this topic belongs to romance, not friendship.
By PookieFriends & plans · Yapr Learn
In Japanese, telling someone whether you are single or have a partner is a common, practical skill, but it works differently from English. Japanese usually avoids direct words like 'single' in casual small talk and instead uses set phrases such as 独身です (dokushin desu) or 彼氏がいます (kareshi ga imasu). This lesson teaches the core patterns for stating your status, asking about someone else's, and keeping the register polite. You will also see why this topic is about romantic connections rather than friendship: Japanese has separate words for friend (友達, tomodachi) and romantic partner (彼氏, kareshi / 彼女, kanojo), so mixing them can sound confusing or intrusive.
By the end, you can…
- state whether I am single or have a partner in polite Japanese.
- ask someone politely about their relationship status.
- distinguish between friendship words and romantic partner words in Japanese.
Listen once. Try it slowly. Then say it without looking.
Checking available voices…
独身です。
I'm single.
dokushin desu
A neutral, polite way to say you are unmarried or single. Common in adult conversation. Note that 独身 (dokushin) specifically means 'unmarried,' so it is not the best choice for a young person who has never married; in that case 彼氏がいません / 彼女がいません (I don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend) is more natural.
彼氏がいます。
I have a boyfriend.
kareshi ga imasu
Used by a female speaker or someone referring to a male partner. が marks the partner as the subject. Note that 彼氏 (kareshi) means 'boyfriend,' not a same-sex partner.
彼女がいます。
I have a girlfriend.
kanojo ga imasu
Used by a male speaker or someone referring to a female partner. Context makes the meaning clear. Note that 彼女 (kanojo) can also mean 'she,' so context is important.
パートナーがいます。
I have a partner.
paatonaa ga imasu
Gender-neutral and increasingly common. Good when you do not want to specify gender or marital status. Note that パートナー (paatonaa) can also mean a business partner, so context matters.
結婚しています。
I'm married.
kekkon shite imasu
States marital status directly. Use when the conversation is clearly about marriage, not just dating.
Pronunciation guides are approximate. Slow playback keeps the original pitch.
Make it make sense
Useful pattern
The core pattern is [person] + が + います (ga imasu), which means 'there is/are' for living beings. To say you have a partner, use 彼氏がいます (kareshi ga imasu), 彼女がいます (kanojo ga imasu), or パートナーがいます (paatonaa ga imasu). To say you are single, use 独身です (dokushin desu). To ask a question, add か (ka): 彼氏がいますか (kareshi ga imasu ka) or 独身ですか (dokushin desu ka). Note that Japanese does not require a separate word for 'a' or 'the,' so 彼氏がいます can mean 'I have a boyfriend' or 'I have a partner' depending on context. Also note that います (imasu) is used for living beings; for inanimate objects, use あります (arimasu).
When to use it
Use these phrases when the topic of dating or relationships comes up naturally, for example at a party, on a date, or when a friend asks. Avoid asking 彼氏がいますか (kareshi ga imasu ka) too directly to someone you just met, as it can feel intrusive. A softer option is 恋人はいますか (koibito wa imasu ka), meaning 'Do you have a romantic partner?' The word 友達 (tomodachi) means 'friend' and does not imply romance, so do not use it to ask about a boyfriend or girlfriend. If you are unsure, パートナーがいます (paatonaa ga imasu) is a safe, inclusive choice. Note that 恋人 (koibito) can refer to a romantic partner of any gender, while 彼氏 (kareshi) and 彼女 (kanojo) specify boyfriend and girlfriend respectively.
Listen to each line, then take one part and reply out loud.
田中さんは独身ですか。
Tanaka-san, are you single?Tanaka-san wa dokushin desu kaいいえ、彼氏がいます。
No, I have a boyfriend.iie, kareshi ga imasuそうですか。お幸せですね。
I see. You seem happy.sou desu ka. o-shiawase desu neありがとうございます。
Thank you.arigatou gozaimasuA little context goes a long way
In Japanese, relationship status is often treated as personal information, so direct questions can feel rude unless you are close or the context is clearly about dating. Using 独身 (dokushin) for 'single' is common among adults, but younger speakers may prefer 彼氏がいない (kareshi ga inai) or 彼女がいない (kanojo ga inai), meaning 'I don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend.' The gender-neutral パートナー (paatonaa) is useful in professional or inclusive settings. Note that 独身 (dokushin) specifically means 'unmarried,' so it may not fit a young person who has never married.
One thing to watch for
Using 友達がいます (tomodachi ga imasu) to mean 'I have a boyfriend/girlfriend.'
Try this instead: 友達 (tomodachi) means 'friend' and does not imply romance. To say you have a romantic partner, use 彼氏がいます (kareshi ga imasu) for a boyfriend or 彼女がいます (kanojo ga imasu) for a girlfriend. If you want a gender-neutral option, say パートナーがいます (paatonaa ga imasu). Note that 彼氏 (kareshi) and 彼女 (kanojo) are not interchangeable with 友達 (tomodachi).
Your turn
Try answering out loud before checking a possible answer.
1How do you say 'I'm single' politely in Japanese?
Show a sample answer
独身です。 (dokushin desu)
This is the standard polite phrase for 'I'm single.' In casual speech, some people say 独身だ (dokushin da), but です is safer for learners. Note that 独身 (dokushin) means 'unmarried,' so it may not be appropriate for a young person who has never married.
2Ask a friend politely if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Show a sample answer
恋人はいますか。 (koibito wa imasu ka)
This asks about a romantic partner without specifying gender. 彼氏がいますか (kareshi ga imasu ka) is also possible but assumes a male partner, so 恋人 is more neutral. Note that 恋人 (koibito) can refer to a romantic partner of any gender.
3What is the difference between 友達 and 彼氏?
Show a sample answer
友達 means 'friend' and does not imply romance; 彼氏 means 'boyfriend' and is romantic.
Japanese keeps friendship and romance words separate. Using 友達 for a romantic partner can confuse the listener, so choose 彼氏, 彼女, or パートナー for romance. Note that 彼氏 (kareshi) and 彼女 (kanojo) are not interchangeable with 友達 (tomodachi).
Use 独身です (dokushin desu) for 'I'm single' and 彼氏がいます / 彼女がいます / パートナーがいます for 'I have a partner.' Keep questions polite, and remember that 友達 is only for friends, not romantic partners. Note that 独身 (dokushin) means 'unmarried,' so it may not fit all contexts.
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