Japanese for Beginners: Asking How Someone Feels and Responding with Empathy
Learn to ask 'Are you okay?' and respond with empathy in Japanese. Master daijōbu, genki, and tsukareta to check in on friends and show you care.
By TheaFirst conversations · Yapr Learn
When someone seems upset or tired, the first step is to ask how they are. In Japanese, this means using set phrases like daijōbu? (Are you okay?) and genki? (Are you well?). This lesson focuses on asking others about their feelings, not on expressing your own. You will learn five key phrases, a simple pattern to ask questions, and how to respond with empathy. By the end, you can check in on a friend and react kindly to their answer.
By the end, you can…
- ask someone if they are okay using daijōbu?
- ask if someone is well using genki?
- ask if someone is tired using tsukareta?
- respond with empathy using phrases like sō ka and taihen da ne.
Listen once. Try it slowly. Then say it without looking.
Checking available voices…
大丈夫？
Are you okay?
daijōbu?
Use when someone looks worried, upset, or after a small accident. Rising intonation makes it a question.
元気？
Are you well? / How are you?
genki?
Casual greeting to a friend you haven't seen in a while, or to check on someone's energy.
疲れた？
Are you tired?
tsukareta?
Ask when someone looks exhausted or after a long day. Casual form; use 疲れましたか？ (tsukaremashita ka?) for polite.
どうしたの？
What's wrong? / What happened?
dō shita no?
Shows concern when someone seems sad or quiet. Casual; polite version is どうしましたか？ (dō shimashita ka?).
大変だね。
That sounds tough.
taihen da ne.
Empathetic response after someone shares a problem. The ne softens it and seeks agreement.
Pronunciation guides are approximate. Slow playback keeps the original pitch.
Make it make sense
Useful pattern
To ask about someone's state, use a word that describes a feeling plus rising intonation. For example, 大丈夫？ (daijōbu? – Are you okay?), 元気？ (genki? – Are you well?), and 疲れた？ (tsukareta? – Are you tired?). These are casual forms. For polite conversation, add ですか (desu ka): 大丈夫ですか？ (daijōbu desu ka? – Are you okay?), 元気ですか？ (genki desu ka? – Are you well?), 疲れましたか？ (tsukaremashita ka? – Are you tired?). Note that 疲れた (tsukareta) is the past-tense form of the verb 疲れる (tsukareru, 'to get tired'), but it functions like an adjective meaning 'tired'. You can also ask どうしたの？ (dō shita no? – What's wrong?) to invite someone to explain.
When to use it
Use 大丈夫？ (daijōbu?) when you see someone in mild distress, like after they drop something or look sad. Use 元気？ (genki?) as a friendly greeting or when someone seems low on energy. Use 疲れた？ (tsukareta?) after work or a long day. For a more polite situation, such as with a coworker or acquaintance, use the ですか (desu ka) forms. When someone answers with a negative feeling, respond with empathy: そうか (sō ka – I see), 大変だね (taihen da ne – that sounds tough), or 難しいね (muzukashii ne – that's difficult, isn't it). Avoid using these casual forms with superiors unless you add です/ます (desu/masu).
Listen to each line, then take one part and reply out loud.
元気？
Are you well?genki?うん、でもちょっと疲れた。
Yeah, but I'm a bit tired.un, demo chotto tsukareta.大変だね。大丈夫？
That sounds tough. Are you okay?taihen da ne. daijōbu?うん、ありがとう。少し休むよ。
Yeah, thanks. I'll rest a little.un, arigatō. sukoshi yasumu yo.A little context goes a long way
In Japanese, asking about someone's feelings often uses set phrases rather than direct questions like 'How do you feel?' The casual forms 大丈夫？ (daijōbu?) and 元気？ (genki?) are fine with close friends and family, but in formal contexts, use 大丈夫ですか？ (daijōbu desu ka?) or お元気ですか？ (o-genki desu ka?). Also, responding with empathy often includes aizuchi (backchanneling) like そうか (sō ka) or 大変だね (taihen da ne) to show you are listening. Avoid overusing direct questions; sometimes a simple 大丈夫？ (daijōbu?) is enough.
One thing to watch for
Using 'anata wa dō kanjimasu ka?' to ask 'How do you feel?'
Try this instead: This sounds unnatural and clinical. Instead, use 大丈夫？ (daijōbu?) or 元気？ (genki?) for everyday check-ins. For example, when a friend looks sad, say 大丈夫？ (daijōbu?) rather than asking about their feelings directly.
Your turn
Try answering out loud before checking a possible answer.
1Your friend looks exhausted after work. What casual question can you ask?
Show a sample answer
疲れた？ (tsukareta?)
This directly asks 'Are you tired?' and fits the context. You could also say 大丈夫？ (daijōbu?) if you want to be more general.
2You want to ask a coworker politely if they are okay. What do you say?
Show a sample answer
大丈夫ですか？ (daijōbu desu ka?)
Adding ですか (desu ka) makes it polite. 大丈夫？ (daijōbu?) alone is too casual for a coworker unless you are close.
3Your friend says 'ちょっと疲れた' (I'm a bit tired). What empathetic response can you give?
Show a sample answer
大変だね。 (taihen da ne.)
This shows empathy and agreement. You could also say そうか (sō ka) or 無理しないでね (muri shinaide ne – don't overdo it).
To check in on someone in Japanese, use daijōbu? (Are you okay?) or genki? (Are you well?). For politeness, add desu ka. Respond with empathy using taihen da ne or sō ka. Keep it simple and show you care.
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