German for Beginners: Asking How Someone Feels and Responding with Empathy
Learn to ask 'Are you okay?' and similar questions in German, and respond with empathy when someone says they're stressed or tired.
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In this lesson, you'll learn how to ask others how they feel in German and respond with empathy. This is different from expressing your own feelings; here, the focus is on asking questions like 'Are you okay?' and reacting supportively. You'll practice key phrases, a simple dialogue, and common patterns. By the end, you'll be able to check in on someone and respond appropriately, whether they're stressed, tired, or just fine.
By the end, you can…
- ask someone if they are okay in German.
- respond empathetically when someone says they are stressed or tired.
- use the polite form 'Sie' and informal 'du' appropriately when asking about feelings.
Listen once. Try it slowly. Then say it without looking.
Checking available voices…
Geht es dir gut?
Are you okay? (informal)
gayt es deer goot (g as in 'go')
Use with friends, family, or people you know well. Literally: 'Does it go well for you?'
Geht es Ihnen gut?
Are you okay? (formal)
gayt es EE-nen goot
Use with strangers, older people, or in professional settings. 'Ihnen' is the polite dative form of 'Sie'.
Ich bin ein bisschen gestresst.
I'm a bit stressed.
ikh bin ine BISS-khen ge-SHTREST
Common response when you're feeling pressure. 'Ein bisschen' means 'a little bit'.
Das tut mir leid.
I'm sorry to hear that.
das toot meer lite
Empathetic response to someone's bad news or stress. Literally: 'That does me sorrow.'
Kann ich etwas für dich tun?
Can I do something for you? (informal)
kan ikh ET-vas fewr dikh toon
Offer help informally. For formal, say 'Kann ich etwas für Sie tun?'
Pronunciation guides are approximate. Slow playback keeps the original pitch.
Make it make sense
Useful pattern
To ask how someone feels, use 'Geht es dir gut?' (informal) or 'Geht es Ihnen gut?' (formal). The verb 'geht' (goes) is used impersonally with 'es' (it). To respond, you can say 'Ich bin...' + adjective, e.g., 'Ich bin müde' (I'm tired), 'Ich bin gestresst' (I'm stressed). To show empathy, use 'Das tut mir leid' or 'Oh, das ist nicht gut' (Oh, that's not good).
When to use it
Use the informal 'dir' with friends, family, and peers. Use the formal 'Ihnen' with strangers, colleagues you don't know well, or anyone you address with 'Sie'. When someone shares a problem, respond with empathy before offering help. For example, if someone says 'Ich bin gestresst', you can say 'Das tut mir leid. Kann ich helfen?' (I'm sorry. Can I help?).
Listen to each line, then take one part and reply out loud.
Hallo, geht es dir gut?
Hello, are you okay?HAH-loh, gayt es deer gootNicht so gut. Ich bin ein bisschen gestresst.
Not so good. I'm a bit stressed.nikht zoh goot. ikh bin ine BISS-khen ge-SHTRESTDas tut mir leid. Kann ich etwas für dich tun?
I'm sorry to hear that. Can I do something for you?das toot meer lite. kan ikh ET-vas fewr dikh toonDanke, das ist nett. Vielleicht später.
Thanks, that's nice. Maybe later.DAN-keh, das ist net. fee-LYKHT SHPET-erA little context goes a long way
In German-speaking countries, directness is valued, but empathy is still important. Asking 'Geht es dir gut?' can be sincere, not just a greeting. Use the formal 'Ihnen' with strangers or in professional contexts; using 'dir' with a stranger might seem too familiar. Regional variations: In Austria and Switzerland, people might say 'Wie geht's?' more casually, but the formal 'Ihnen' is standard everywhere.
One thing to watch for
Using 'Wie geht es dir?' to mean 'Are you okay?' in a concerned way.
Try this instead: 'Wie geht es dir?' is a general 'How are you?' For concern, use 'Geht es dir gut?' with a rising intonation, or 'Alles okay?' (Everything okay?). Example: 'Geht es dir gut? Du siehst müde aus.' (Are you okay? You look tired.)
Your turn
Try answering out loud before checking a possible answer.
1How do you ask a friend (informal) if they are okay?
Show a sample answer
Geht es dir gut?
This uses the informal 'dir'. 'Geht es Ihnen gut?' would be formal. Both are correct depending on the relationship.
2Someone says 'Ich bin gestresst.' What empathetic phrase can you use?
Show a sample answer
Das tut mir leid.
This expresses sympathy. You could also say 'Oh, das ist nicht gut.' Both are appropriate.
3How do you formally ask your boss if they are okay?
Show a sample answer
Geht es Ihnen gut?
Use 'Ihnen' for formal situations. 'Geht es dir gut?' would be too informal with a boss unless you are close.
To ask if someone is okay in German, use 'Geht es dir gut?' informally or 'Geht es Ihnen gut?' formally. Respond with empathy using 'Das tut mir leid' and offer help with 'Kann ich etwas für dich tun?' Remember to match the formality to your relationship.
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