French for Evaluating Relationships: Expressing 'We've Grown Closer' and 'We Drifted Apart'
Learn to use French reflective expressions to assess how relationships change over time, distinguishing evaluation from simple description.
By PookieFriends & plans · Yapr Learn
In French, talking about relationships often involves describing actions or states, but evaluating them requires a different set of expressions. This lesson focuses on two key ideas: 'we've grown closer' and 'we drifted apart.' You'll learn verbs and reflexive constructions that convey emotional or relational change, and how to use them in reflective conversation. We'll practice phrases like 'on s'est rapprochés' and 'on s'est éloignés,' and explore nuances such as 'on a pris nos distances.' By the end, you'll be able to discuss relationship dynamics with greater precision and emotional insight.
By the end, you can…
- use reflexive verbs to express growing closer or drifting apart in French.
- distinguish between describing relationship events and evaluating their emotional impact.
- incorporate idiomatic expressions like 'prendre ses distances' into reflective conversation.
Listen once. Try it slowly. Then say it without looking.
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On s'est rapprochés.
We've grown closer.
ohn seh rah-proh-SHAY
Use in informal conversation to indicate increased emotional intimacy. The reflexive verb 'se rapprocher' literally means 'to move closer to each other.'
On s'est éloignés.
We've drifted apart.
ohn seh ay-lwah-NYAY
Expresses gradual emotional distance. 'S'éloigner' means 'to move away from each other.' Often used with time expressions like 'avec le temps' (over time).
On a pris nos distances.
We've distanced ourselves.
ohn ah pree noh dee-STAHNS
Implies a deliberate or gradual pulling back. More neutral than 's'éloigner,' can be used for temporary or permanent distance.
Notre relation s'est renforcée.
Our relationship has strengthened.
noh-truh ruh-lah-SYOHN seh rahn-for-SAY
Formal or reflective tone. 'Se renforcer' means 'to become stronger.' Useful for evaluating bonds in a serious or analytical way.
On a fini par se perdre de vue.
We ended up losing touch.
ohn ah fee-nee par suh perd duh VOO
Idiomatic expression meaning to gradually stop communicating. 'Perdre de vue' literally means 'to lose sight of.' Often used for friendships.
Pronunciation guides are approximate. Slow playback keeps the original pitch.
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Useful pattern
Reflexive verbs are key for expressing mutual relationship changes. The pattern 'on s'est + past participle' indicates a shared action or state. For example, 'on s'est rapprochés' (we grew closer) and 'on s'est éloignés' (we drifted apart). With the pronoun 'on' meaning 'we,' the past participle agrees in gender and number with the real subject: usually masculine plural, so you add 's' — rapprochés, éloignés. If the group is all female, it would be 'rapprochées,' though this is less common in informal speech. Another pattern uses 'avoir' with a noun: 'on a pris nos distances' (we distanced ourselves). Here the past participle 'pris' does not agree with the subject because the direct object 'nos distances' follows the verb.
When to use it
Use these expressions when you want to evaluate the state of a relationship over time, not just describe specific events. For instance, after summarizing a series of arguments or good times, you might conclude: 'Au début, c'était difficile, mais on s'est rapprochés.' (At first it was hard, but we grew closer.) Or 'On se voyait tous les jours, puis on s'est éloignés.' (We saw each other every day, then we drifted apart.) The reflexive form emphasizes the mutual nature of the change. In more formal writing or careful speech, you might use 'notre relation s'est renforcée' or 'notre relation s'est détériorée' (our relationship deteriorated). These are less personal and more evaluative.
Listen to each line, then take one part and reply out loud.
Tu as revu Julien récemment ? Comment ça se passe entre vous ?
Have you seen Julien recently? How are things between you?tew ah ruh-VEW zhew-LYAN ray-sah-MAHN? koh-MAHN sah pahss AHN-truh VOO?On s'est un peu éloignés depuis qu'il a déménagé. On se parle moins.
We've drifted apart a bit since he moved. We talk less.ohn seh tun puh ay-lwah-NYAY duh-PWEE keel ah day-may-nah-ZHAY. ohn suh parl mwan.C'est dommage. Vous étiez si proches avant. Tu penses que vous allez vous rapprocher ?
That's too bad. You were so close before. Do you think you'll grow closer again?seh doh-MAHZH. voo zay-TYAY see PROHSH ah-VAHN. tew pahns kuh voo zah-LAY voo rah-proh-SHAY?J'espère. Mais pour l'instant, on a pris nos distances. Peut-être qu'avec le temps...
I hope so. But for now, we've distanced ourselves. Maybe with time...zheh-SPEHR. may poor lan-STAHN, ohn ah pree noh dee-STAHNS. puh-TEHTR kah-VEK luh TAHN...A little context goes a long way
In French conversations, evaluating relationships with reflexive verbs like 'se rapprocher' and 's'éloigner' is common among friends and family. However, the degree of directness varies: in more formal settings, people might use 'notre relation s'est distendue' (our relationship became strained) or 'nous nous sommes rapprochés' with the nous form. In informal Quebec French, you might hear 'on s'est rapproché' without the plural 's,' but standard French requires agreement. Also, 'prendre ses distances' can sometimes imply a deliberate choice, so use it carefully if you don't want to suggest intentional withdrawal.
One thing to watch for
Using 'on a rapproché' instead of 'on s'est rapprochés' to mean 'we grew closer.'
Try this instead: 'On a rapproché' means 'we brought something closer' (e.g., 'on a rapproché les chaises' – we moved the chairs closer). To say 'we grew closer to each other,' you need the reflexive form: 'on s'est rapprochés.' The reflexive pronoun 'se' indicates the action is mutual. Similarly, 'on a éloigné' means 'we moved something away,' while 'on s'est éloignés' means 'we drifted apart.' Always include the reflexive pronoun for relationship changes.
Your turn
Try answering out loud before checking a possible answer.
1How would you say 'We've grown closer' in French using a reflexive verb?
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On s'est rapprochés.
This uses the reflexive verb 'se rapprocher' in the passé composé. The past participle 'rapprochés' agrees in plural with 'on.' An alternative could be 'Nous nous sommes rapprochés' in more formal French.
2What is the difference between 'on s'est éloignés' and 'on a pris nos distances'?
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'On s'est éloignés' means 'we drifted apart' and often implies a gradual, unintentional process. 'On a pris nos distances' means 'we distanced ourselves' and can suggest a more deliberate choice to create space.
Both express increasing distance, but the reflexive verb focuses on the mutual emotional drift, while 'prendre ses distances' highlights the action of pulling back. Context and tone determine which is more appropriate.
3Translate: 'Our relationship has strengthened over time.' Use a formal expression.
Show a sample answer
Notre relation s'est renforcée avec le temps.
This uses 'se renforcer' in the passé composé, with agreement 'renforcée' because 'relation' is feminine. 'Avec le temps' means 'over time.' A less formal alternative is 'On s'est rapprochés avec le temps.'
To evaluate relationship changes in French, use reflexive verbs like 'se rapprocher' and 's'éloigner' for mutual emotional shifts. Remember the reflexive pronoun and past participle agreement. For deliberate distance, 'prendre ses distances' works well. Practice these in reflective conversations to sound more nuanced.
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