Finding Common Ground in French: Saying "We Both Want the Same Thing"
Learn French phrases to identify shared goals during disagreements, using structures like "on veut tous les deux" and "nous sommes d'accord sur" to shift from conflict to cooperation.
By TheaFirst conversations · Yapr Learn
When a discussion gets tense in French, one of the most useful moves is to name what both sides actually share. Instead of arguing point by point, you can say something like "On veut tous les deux la même chose" (We both want the same thing). This lesson teaches you concrete French phrases to identify common ground, acknowledge the other person's goal, and redirect a disagreement toward a shared outcome. You will practise structures with "tous les deux," "d'accord sur," and "le même," which are standard in contemporary spoken and written French.
By the end, you can…
- state a shared goal using "on veut tous les deux..." or "nous voulons la même chose."
- acknowledge agreement on a specific point with "je suis d'accord sur..." and "tu as raison sur..."
- redirect a disagreement by saying "le problème, ce n'est pas... c'est..." to separate the person from the issue.
Listen once. Try it slowly. Then say it without looking.
Checking available voices…
On veut tous les deux la même chose.
We both want the same thing.
ohn vuh too lay duh lah mem shohz
Use "on" in everyday spoken French; it takes third-person singular verb forms. "Tous les deux" means "both of us" here.
Je suis d'accord avec toi sur ce point.
I agree with you on this point.
zhuh swee dah-kor ah-vek twah sewr suh pwan
"D'accord avec" + person + "sur" + topic. Use "vous" instead of "toi" in formal contexts.
Tu as raison sur le fond.
You're right about the main point.
tew ah ray-zohn sewr luh fohn
"Le fond" means the substance or core of an issue, as opposed to "la forme" (the form or wording).
Le problème, ce n'est pas toi, c'est le délai.
The problem isn't you, it's the deadline.
luh proh-blem, suh nay pah twah, say luh day-lay
This cleft structure "ce n'est pas... c'est..." separates the person from the issue. Very common in mediation and everyday conflict.
Nous sommes d'accord sur l'essentiel.
We agree on the essential point.
noo som dah-kor sewr lay-sahn-syel
More formal than "on est d'accord." Useful in meetings, negotiations, or written follow-ups.
Pronunciation guides are approximate. Slow playback keeps the original pitch.
Make it make sense
Useful pattern
The core pattern is "On veut tous les deux + [noun or infinitive]." For example: "On veut tous les deux trouver une solution" (We both want to find a solution). You can also use "Nous voulons la même chose" for a slightly more formal tone. Note that "le même / la même" agrees in gender with the noun: "la même chose," "le même résultat." In spoken French, "on" is far more common than "nous" for "we," but it still takes singular verb agreement: "on veut," not "on voulons."
When to use it
Use these phrases when a conversation is becoming adversarial and you want to lower the tension. Start with a shared goal: "On veut tous les deux que ce projet réussisse." Then acknowledge a specific point: "Je suis d'accord avec toi sur le budget." Finally, separate the person from the problem: "Le problème, ce n'est pas ta méthode, c'est le manque de temps." This sequence works in workplace meetings, family discussions, and negotiations. Avoid using it sarcastically; the tone should be genuinely cooperative.
Listen to each line, then take one part and reply out loud.
Je pense que ta proposition ne va pas fonctionner.
I think your proposal won't work.zhuh pahns kuh tah proh-poh-zee-syohn nuh vah pah fohn-syoh-nayAttends, on veut tous les deux la même chose, non ?
Wait, we both want the same thing, don't we?ah-tahn, ohn vuh too lay duh lah mem shohz, nohnOui, tu as raison sur le fond. On veut que le client soit satisfait.
Yes, you're right about the main point. We want the client to be satisfied.wee, tew ah ray-zohn sewr luh fohn. ohn vuh kuh luh klee-ahn swah sah-tees-fayExactement. Le problème, ce n'est pas ta méthode, c'est le délai.
Exactly. The problem isn't your method, it's the deadline.eg-zak-tuh-mahn. luh proh-blem, suh nay pah tah may-tod, say luh day-layA little context goes a long way
In French workplace and public life, direct disagreement is often expressed through structured reasoning rather than personal confrontation. Phrases like "sur le fond" and "sur la forme" reflect a common French habit of separating substance from style. Using "on" instead of "nous" is normal in speech but can sound too casual in formal writing; in a professional email, prefer "nous sommes d'accord sur l'essentiel." In Quebec, "on" is equally common, and "je suis d'accord avec toi" is standard; regional differences appear more in vocabulary than in these agreement structures.
One thing to watch for
Saying "On sommes d'accord" by mixing "on" with a first-person plural verb form.
Try this instead: "On" takes third-person singular: "On est d'accord." If you want a more formal tone, use "Nous sommes d'accord." Example: "On est d'accord sur l'essentiel" or "Nous sommes d'accord sur l'essentiel."
Your turn
Try answering out loud before checking a possible answer.
1How would you say "We both want the same result" using "on"?
Show a sample answer
On veut tous les deux le même résultat.
This uses "on veut" (third-person singular) plus "tous les deux" and "le même résultat." You could also say "Nous voulons le même résultat," which is more formal but equally correct.
2Which phrase separates the person from the problem?
Show a sample answer
Le problème, ce n'est pas toi, c'est le délai.
The structure "ce n'est pas... c'est..." redirects the issue away from the person. Other valid options include "Le problème, ce n'est pas ta méthode, c'est le manque de temps."
3What is the difference between "sur le fond" and "sur la forme"?
Show a sample answer
"Sur le fond" means on the substance or main point; "sur la forme" means on the form, wording, or presentation.
Both are common in French disagreement. Saying "tu as raison sur le fond" acknowledges the core idea while leaving room to discuss details of form.
When a French disagreement heats up, name the shared goal first: "On veut tous les deux la même chose." Then agree on one specific point, and separate the person from the problem with "ce n'est pas... c'est..." This keeps the conversation cooperative and precise.
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