Finding Common Ground in Chinese: Saying 'We Both Want the Same Result'
Learn Mandarin phrases for identifying shared goals during disagreements, using 我们都想 and 咱们都想 to shift from conflict to cooperation.
By TheaFirst conversations · Yapr Learn
When two people disagree, the fastest way to lower tension is often to name what they still share. In Mandarin, this move has its own natural phrasing. The core pattern is 我们都想 + [result] ('we both want...'), where 都 (dōu) means 'both' or 'all' and must come after 我们 and before the verb. A warmer, more inclusive variant is 咱们都想, which pulls the listener into the same group. This lesson teaches you to identify a shared point in a disagreement, check that the other person agrees, and build a short cooperative exchange. You will practise five phrases and see them in a realistic dialogue.
By the end, you can…
- state a shared goal in a disagreement using 我们都想 and 咱们都想
- check whether the other person agrees with 对吧 and 是不是
- shift a tense exchange toward cooperation with 我们的目标是一样的
Listen once. Try it slowly. Then say it without looking.
Checking available voices…
我们都想得到同样的结果。
We both want the same result.
wǒmen dōu xiǎng dédào tóngyàng de jiéguǒ
Neutral, standard way to name a shared goal. 都 must sit between 我们 and 想.
咱们的目标其实是一样的。
Our goal is actually the same.
zánmen de mùbiāo qíshí shì yīyàng de
咱们 includes the listener, so it sounds warmer and more cooperative than 我们 in northern speech.
这一点我们都同意，对吧？
We both agree on this point, right?
zhè yī diǎn wǒmen dōu tóngyì, duì ba
Uses 对吧 to invite confirmation without sounding aggressive.
所以我们的共同点是……
So what we have in common is...
suǒyǐ wǒmen de gòngtóngdiǎn shì……
Signals that you are summarising the shared ground before discussing differences.
我们先从这个共同点开始谈。
Let's start from this shared point.
wǒmen xiān cóng zhège gòngtóngdiǎn kāishǐ tán
先...开始 softens the transition and proposes a practical next step.
Pronunciation guides are approximate. Slow playback keeps the original pitch.
Make it make sense
Useful pattern
The key structure is 我们都想 + result, for example 我们都想解决问题 (wǒmen dōu xiǎng jiějué wèntí, 'we both want to solve the problem'). 都 is an adverb and must appear after the subject and before the verb; 我们都想 is correct, while 都想我们 is not. To include the listener more directly, replace 我们 with 咱们: 咱们都想省钱 (zánmen dōu xiǎng shěng qián, 'we both want to save money'). For a state rather than a desire, use 我们的目标是一样的 (wǒmen de mùbiāo shì yīyàng de).
When to use it
Use these phrases when a discussion is getting tense and you want to lower the temperature before returning to the disputed details. For example, after a disagreement about budget, you might say 咱们的目标其实是一样的，都是把项目做好 (zánmen de mùbiāo qíshí shì yīyàng de, dōu shì bǎ xiàngmù zuò hǎo, 'our goal is actually the same: to do the project well'). Avoid overusing 咱们 in very formal settings; 我们 is safer there. Also avoid claiming agreement too strongly with 你同意我, which can sound like pressure.
Listen to each line, then take one part and reply out loud.
我觉得这个方案有问题，我们不应该这样做。
I think this plan has problems; we shouldn't do it this way.wǒ juéde zhège fāng'àn yǒu wèntí, wǒmen bù yīnggāi zhèyàng zuò我明白你的担心，不过我们都想得到同样的结果，对吧？
I understand your concern, but we both want the same result, right?wǒ míngbai nǐ de dānxīn, bùguò wǒmen dōu xiǎng dédào tóngyàng de jiéguǒ, duì ba对，这一点我们都同意。我们的共同点是都想把项目做好。
Yes, we both agree on that. What we have in common is that we both want to do the project well.duì, zhè yī diǎn wǒmen dōu tóngyì. wǒmen de gòngtóngdiǎn shì dōu xiǎng bǎ xiàngmù zuò hǎo那我们先从这个共同点开始谈，再看看具体怎么做。
Then let's start from this shared point and then look at how to do it specifically.nà wǒmen xiān cóng zhège gòngtóngdiǎn kāishǐ tán, zài kànkan jùtǐ zěnme zuòA little context goes a long way
In Mandarin disagreement, directly contradicting someone can feel blunt, so speakers often name a shared goal first. 咱们 is common in northern China and sounds inclusive; in more formal or southern contexts, 我们 may be preferred. 对吧 and 是不是 soften a request for agreement, but repeated use can sound like pressure, so use them sparingly.
One thing to watch for
Placing 都 after the verb, as in 我们想都得到同样的结果.
Try this instead: 都 must come before the verb: 我们都想得到同样的结果 (wǒmen dōu xiǎng dédào tóngyàng de jiéguǒ). Think of 都 as attaching to the subject group, not the action.
Your turn
Try answering out loud before checking a possible answer.
1How would you say 'We both want to solve this problem' using 都?
Show a sample answer
我们都想解决这个问题。
都 correctly follows 我们 and precedes 想. 咱们都想解决这个问题 is also valid and sounds more inclusive.
2Which phrase better includes the listener: 我们的目标 or 咱们的目标?
Show a sample answer
咱们的目标
咱们 explicitly includes the person you are speaking to, which fits a cooperative tone. 我们的目标 is correct but slightly more neutral.
3Translate: 'Let's start from this shared point.'
Show a sample answer
我们先从这个共同点开始谈。
先...开始谈 expresses 'start from... and talk'. 我们可以从这个共同点开始 is also acceptable but less natural in spoken Mandarin.
When a disagreement heats up, name the shared goal first: 我们都想... or 咱们的目标是一样的. Then return to the details.
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